9 signs you should press pause right now and give back to yourself.

By Dan | Happiness

Aug 19
Midlife Crisis

When you say “personal development,” some people automatically think of Tony Robbins or of positive thinking and lots of clapping, cheering and walking on fire.

Personal development is developing you beyond where you are currently now. Only 10% of the population do any kind of development after university.

The thing about change is that it is constant. In nature, nothing stays still, if it did we wouldn’t have butterflies.

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” Nathaniel Branden

Growing is inherent in the human race, to flourish, to take ourselves beyond our current circumstances and achieve great things. Growth and contribution, needs of the spirit.

“The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.” Aristotle

At some stage though some of us hit a point where we settle with how things are, we have achieved a certain amount of success and life is good, it’s pretty comfortable. We can become ok with the way life is now.

After chasing a career that would help me provide for my young family, I was about 4 years into my whirlwind love affair with the success that I went to holiday in New Zealand, my boss forced me to go on holiday without my phone. It took that kind of removal from my every day and getting out into the mountains for me to realise how disconnected I had become from my wife and my family. I was drinking wine at night to relax and to sleep, coffee in the morning just to wake up and cans of Coke in the afternoon just to get me through.

I wasn’t swimming, riding or getting out into the mountains half as much as I used to.

We suppress those hidden desires and dreams we had when we were young. At some point, the universe will force us to stop suppressing those thoughts, those feelings and demand us to listen.

“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” Abraham Maslow

But what if the universe didn’t have to? What if we decided to take action and say, “I won’t suppress those feelings any longer”.

Throughout my life, it always took a major life event for me to change. This time I made the decision to consciously give back to myself, bring things into balance and lose all the weight I had slowly gained and reconnect with my family and myself.

Before we decide to act we need to be aware that there might be a few areas of our lives that might need work.

Below are 9 signs that it is time to make changes in your life before the inevitable happens.

1. 1. You wake at night thinking about work and can’t get back to sleep.

2. 2. You check emails in bed or first thing when you wake up.

3. 3. You have 20 things on your mind at once.

4. 4. 10kg -20kg overweight or haven’t been on the scales in a while.

5. 5. You feel guilty when you over eat and your favourite beverage in the arvo is a can of Coke.

6. 6. You tell yourself everything is ok when someone asks how you are you answer “I’m fine” or “not bad”.

7. 7. You find yourself telling your kids “I can’t right now I am too busy” or “I just need to finish this first then I will come out”.

8. 8. You don’t take enough annual leave for fear that the place will fall apart without you or when you do take leave you take your phone with you.

9. 9. You feel disconnected to those you care about, you’re not present and in the moment with them.

“The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” Abraham Maslow

Once we become aware that there are areas of our lives that might need attention, it’s time to take action. The deciding is the easy part, taking the consistent action can be a little harder if your reason for changing isn’t strong enough. What is your big reason why this is important to you?

Pick one of the above that stands out for you and focus on it for a week. When you catch yourself in your old habit don’t beat yourself up for it. Reset and go again, there is no right or wrong this is about slowly improving a day at a time.

“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” Brene Brown

Maybe things are going incredibly well for you and maybe you don’t need to change, that’s awesome. What does the next level look like to you? How can you make a conscious decision to work less and earn more, to contribute more, strengthen your relationships, get fitter, stronger, healthier, be a better parent, be more mindful, fulfilled and grateful for all the wonderful things in your life.

“Quality is not an act, it is a habit.” Aristotle

If you find yourself stuck, lacking motivation I can help.

Book a first mindset session with me, instead of $250 I want to offer it to you for $50. Let’s get you back in the game. riseup@thephoenixexperience.com.au
About the author. Daniel is a motivational speaker, facilitator, mindset coach and takes busy professionals on life changing experiences. A chance to press pause on your busy routine and reflect on what is truly important.
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About the Author

Daniel is the owner of The Phoenix Experience is a Qualified Coach, Facilitator and Motivational Speaker. He survived a car accident at aged 20 which left him with a shattered spine and paralyzed. He was told he might never walk again. He proved medical staff wrong walking out of hospital 6 weeks later, although weak and brittle. This shake-up led him to leave his career, partner, apartment: his entire life behind him. After being homeless and unemployed for 6 months he rebuilt his life. He has since had a family and after having a high pressure and busy career he now helps busy professionals get back out and experience life.

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